A Few More Nonsense Limericks

There was an old lady of London,
Whose pants were forever undone;
Her bottom was bare,
But she couldn’t care,
That shameless old lady of London.

There was an old lady of Rome,
Who wrote a prodigious tome;
She had nothing to say,
But wrote anyway,
That wordy old lady of Rome.

There was a young lad in a tie,
Who thought himself handsome as pie;
However he’d plead,
The girls disagreed,
That conceited young lad in a tie.


The day I first popped popcorn
Is the second day that I was born.
The world is worn, all tough and torn,
But now I know it pops popcorn.
I believe in miracles,
I’ve seen them in the microwave.
I believe in miracles,
A popcorn world is one we’ll save.

The Coward and Woe (Part II)

(Part I found here)

The coward hid from all that did
So he’d never have to give
An errant care, indeed he slid
Below life’s lowest bid.
He didn’t dare to live.

The heroic coots bought matching suits
So no one could forget
The deed they’d done.  Those loopy fruits
Dressed in tiger stripes from hat to boots
On weekly walks to make sure Woe was fit.

Their checks made clear he held Woe dear,
The coward found something rare.
A reason to steer straight into his fear,
For Woe awoke an ocean of cheer
And the strength to fight off a scare.

Mind your rights and love your wrongs.
Whatever shore you’re stranded on,
Everything belongs.

The End

Don’t start here!
You missed the story!
It began back there,
Blood, guts, and glory!
With riddles and giggles
And so much more, see?

Hope took on Terror
Who teamed up with Hate,
Then they all switched sides
For the greatest of great
Of the old epic showdowns,
But … you came in too late.

Lucky for every
Story lover -
While this one ends
Here comes another.

The Coward and Woe (Part I)

The sea bit down with a crashing frown
On the strangest shore it ever found.
Where so many things had been left to drown
In a deep tooth mark torn in the ground
A life popped up this time around.

A group of men who’d never been
Beyond their town’s enchanting end
Scooped that baby up and grinned:
“What heroes we are!  We’ve done it again!
Raise the town poet, he’s ballads to pen!”

They left her alone at the coward’s home
‘Cause a strong YES means never a no.
He opened his door, cautious and slow,
With worry aswhirl in his hum-drum dome
And gave her the most beautiful name of Woe.

Mind your rights and love your wrongs.
Whatever shore you’re stranded on,
Everything belongs.

Many Souls

I have many souls,
I am many things.
My lives are mites and rats
And queens and their kings.
Called Goliath and David
And the stone that he slings,
I am three little piggies
And the big bad who sings.
My I’s are dumb and wise,
One me heals, the next one stings.
I as snail hides from the bird
But me as tiger quickly springs.

I fight myself a lot,
It’s crowded in the wings,
But when I’m all together
You should hear the truth that rings.

Baby Zebra

Have you ever wished to win something wild?
Invite in the perfectly un-styled?

Just outside our door this morning
We found with brightest black and white adorning
A baby zebra, ripe and ready for adoring.

(Lion may be king but it doesn’t take much to convince
That zebra is the rather more dapper royal prince.)

We rushily ushered him in and tried
To feed him what the vet said, but the vet lied.
Zebras don’t like grass, ours went straight for the trash,
Merrily munching on mixed muck and moldy mash.
We took him for a trot and snuggled for a nap,
But he must have thought the bath a trap!
He lit us up with the most fantastic funk!

Baby zebra?! That’s a full-grown skunk!

Baby Zebra

Illustration by Hubert