Dear Santa

Every year come Christmas
I sit and write my wish list.
My wants and needs – No let’s be blunt.
It’s all about the things I want.

You’ve gotta start small:  “I want a star.
Why not the Sun?  The rest are too far.
Let’s get creative:  A condor shark!
And a pet hawk piranha so they can play in the park.
A living dream and a long lost secret.
A rainbow beam and the know-how to leak it.
How ’bout a small kingdom?  The earthworm throne!
I’m not greedy – Just one dragon bone.
(The one that throws fire would be nice to own.)”

Then right before the letter’s done
I throw in “World Peace!” just for fun.

This year off my letter went,
But then I get back another letter sent
From that same bowl full of jelly, jolly old gent:

“Thank you my friend!  Here’s my own little list.
I’ve enjoyed yours and don’t want mine to get missed!

Your Christmas host holds hope that
Every girl and boy (good and brat)
Is happy.  Myself?  I could use a less goofy hat.
The world’s a big place with many chimneys,
My night could be easy with a few billion keys.

You know how things are up at the North Pole,
It’s cold.  And we’re awful low on coal.
A heater here would be nice, as would one for the sleigh.
I have just one last big ask of you today -
The reindeer are all aging.  It’s time to upgrade.
Please, oh please, get me a flying bear brigade!

P.S.  The elves only ask you give them something handmade.”


“Dear Easter Bunny (of the lovely South Pole?),
Santa and I have some lists you should scroll…”

Dear Santa

Drawn by Jacob

Dear Santa 2

Illustration by Morgan

A Few Nonsense Limericks

There was an old man on a mountain,
Who tried, but couldn’t stop countin';
The numbers ran out,
But he didn’t pout,
Now new numbers come down from the mountain.

There was an old lady of May,
Who made a small kitten of clay;
It hunted dust bunnies,
And dined on lost pennies,
That happy old family of May.

There is an old lady whose nose,
Can be heard for miles when she blows;
She works as a horn
At the lighthouse to warn
And guide ships by the blast of her nose.

The Coward and Woe (Part III)

Part I and Part II

Woe was aware of the inspired care
That her coward could require.
He fled from mice, he feared the very air,
Few things weren’t a threat to his derriere.
It was an extreme you must admire.

Terror never tires, nor is quite so dire
As to demand unbearable despair.
When Woe needed her coward there
He showed up with the scaredest glare
For any deserving of his ire.

So when the worst stared square at the pair,
Woe and her coward held their heads higher
For each one was exactly where
They needed to be in order to share
Whatever might transpire.

Mind your rights and love your wrongs.
Whatever shore you’re stranded on,
Everything belongs.

A Few More Nonsense Limericks

There was an old lady of London,
Whose pants were forever undone;
Her bottom was bare,
But she couldn’t care,
That shameless old lady of London.

There was an old lady of Rome,
Who wrote a prodigious tome;
She had nothing to say,
But wrote anyway,
That wordy old lady of Rome.

There was a young lad in a tie,
Who thought himself handsome as pie;
However he’d plead,
The girls disagreed,
That conceited young lad in a tie.

The Coward and Woe (Part II)

(Part I found here)

The coward hid from all that did
So he’d never have to give
An errant care, indeed he slid
Below life’s lowest bid.
He didn’t dare to live.

The heroic coots bought matching suits
So no one could forget
The deed they’d done.  Those loopy fruits
Dressed in tiger stripes from hat to boots
On weekly walks to make sure Woe was fit.

Their checks made clear he held Woe dear,
The coward found something rare.
A reason to steer straight into his fear,
For Woe awoke an ocean of cheer
And the strength to fight off a scare.

Mind your rights and love your wrongs.
Whatever shore you’re stranded on,
Everything belongs.