A Few Nonsense Limericks

There was a young person of June,
Who had pots of soup but no spoon;
He dunked his whole head,
To keep himself fed,
That straightforward young person of June.

There was a young lady of Phuket,
Who trained to sing like a cricket;
She chirped and she trilled,
But could only get billed
As a bird, that young lady of Phuket.

There was an old man of Manila,
Who only drank eggs and vanilla;
Add flour, sugar, and shake,
Then set aside to bake,
And you’d soon have a cake of Manila.

Cowgirl

When I told Dad I was gonna be a cowgirl,
His face turned stern and he said, “Now, girl,
You’re far too smart for cows and camp fires,
All set to join the big wigs and high flyers,
So study, stand up straight and just wait.”

I paused.
Glanced at Fate.
Saw her trip in surprise
At the sight of my eyes
Then made like the sunrise
(That is, brilliantly headed west)
To meet whatever test
Might stand in the land
Of hungry sand
And jackalopes.
Offing all nopes.
Riding my hopes
Like the great stomping steed
That joined me in our agreed
Upon quest to be freed.

A 10 gallon hat for a 20 gallon head.
Tumbling along with the bumble weeds.
A cactus pillow.  Rattle snakes for a bed.
Any critter with a hard-earned knack
For rooting out adventure’s track
Is welcome in our ragged pack.

Riding rings around myth,
I bring the wild, wild with.

 

Cowboy

When I told Mom I was gonna be a cowboy,
She smothered a smile and asked, “How, boy?
You’ve asthma and glasses and your best friends are books!
Your night light and teddies protect you from crooks!
How your mind leapt to cowboy, I’ll never know.”

With my own smile kicking, I gave it a go:
“My heart gave it a shove
And as my mind fell,
Heart leapt down from above
For friendship and, well,
Love might be the core
To maybe, just maybe, be something more.

When not shaving with cacti
I’ll have a beard full of prairy dogs,
Oh yes, I’m gonna be that guy -
Begrimed and gutsy.
New kinds of dusty.
With a desert scorching glare
And a devil scaring flare
For making the best
Of what’s not even there!
I’ll ride through the West
And on into myth!

Besides, the books and bears will come with.”

Cowboy

How to Become a Witch

Stomp your toes and twist your nose.
Put on all your Aunt’s old clothes.
Strike a lizard or crow pose,
Then follow where the Witcher goes.

‘Round the bend. Through Le Claq Lake.
Swim dreams until their dreamers wake.
Make your very best mistake
And plunge ahead before it’s fake.

The Witcher walks a wyrmy way.
If you’re to witch, you must obey.
She’ll take you where the poppies play,
You’ll want a pretty – Pick a stray.

Pop it! It’ll pop you back.
Back to never and right on track.
Beyond beyond, back to the crack
That marks No’s backward attack.

Fill it in with fearful cheer.
No must know why you are here.
And once all the can’ts are clear,
Welcome to witching, my dear.

Go

Where the earth is red and ruled by rocky giants,
Where the water flows bluer than true.
Where quiet thunder meets a rumbling silence,
Where the last of the secrets grew.

That’s where I’ll go.

When the time is righter than it knows to be,
When Time forgets itself.
When Bad and Good meet Glee and the three agree,
When Hatred toasts our health.

That’s when I’ll go.

How an earthworm winds its way by swaying stone,
How tick means tock is done.
How Sir Sun only finds the day alone,
How fire and air are one.

That’s how I’ll go.

 

I’m going.

A Few More Nonsense Limericks

There was a young lad with a horn,
Who tooted it every morn';
 The town ran him out,
 Now he wanders about,
That homeless young lad and his horn.

There was an old lady of Seoul,
Who dug a most marvelous hole;
 She kept digging down,
 ‘Til she ran out of ground,
That deepest old lady of Seoul.

There was an old man of Nairobi,
Who made him a wife of adobe;
 When dry she was good,
 But rain made her mud,
That lonely old man of Nairobi.

Forever Flamboyant

The forever flamboyant Penny Popper!
When it comes to dapper dress, none can top her!
She struts about town in the finest,
More made up than any royal highness.

Her alligator boots were where it began,
Then blue leather pants cinched by a belt of snake skin,
With a fox fur coat and turtle shell crown
You’d have to flip the world to bring her down!

But then the turtle missed its home.
The cow felt nude without its case.
The fox got cold.
The snake’s friends didn’t recognize its sweet little face.
And noone’s afraid of a gator without scales.
So they all returned to their proper place.

They all squirmed back into themselves,
Filling their skins full to the brim.
But Penny and those critters worked things out.
Now she just wears them.

Forever Flamboyant

Drawn by KakieMix