Owls of Haunted Holler

Also read about Birds of the Cashew Coast and Snails of Snargoyle Garden.

Southern Shadow Owl
Flies south of the spirit lands to hunt.  Who its prey is remains unknown.  However, it’s said to be feared by all manner of devils.

owls-of-haunted-holler-southern-shadow-owl

Illustration by Kaleb Cutsinger whose work can be found here.

Drowsy Owlet
Just wants to know who you are and why you’re waking it up.  Why are you bothering it?  Leave it alone.

owls-of-haunted-holler-drowsy-owlet

Illustration by Kaleb Cutsinger whose work can be found here.

Caligo
Also known as “the Eyes in the Dark” (because that’s all that’s been seen of them).  Thought by some that they make the night (just so they can peer out of it).  They’re believed to be owls, but who really knows.  Ornithology’s weird.

owls-of-haunted-holler-caligo

Illustration by Kaleb Cutsinger whose work can be found here.

Pocket Owl
If you’ve started noticing twigs and other bits of nest collecting in your pockets, as well as tiny owl pellets scattered around your feet, you’ve likely encountered one.  Who else could it be?  Just buy new clothes.

owls-of-haunted-holler-pocket-owl

Illustration by Kaleb Cutsinger whose work can be found here.

Nebula Owl
Natural enemy of the Caligo.  Pokes holes in the night.  The only owl who doesn’t nest.  In fact, it never stops flying.

owls-of-haunted-holler-nebula-owl

Illustration by Kaleb Cutsinger whose work can be found here.

Gowl
Heard more than seen.  Always sounds baffled, saying, “Who am I?  Who are you?  Who is who?  Who, who, who?”  All good questions.

owls-of-haunted-holler-gowl

Illustration by Kaleb Cutsinger whose work can be found here.

Grizzly Owl
Long claws.  Fantastic sense of smell.  Pronounced shoulder hump.  Gorges on salmon and berries.  Only known owl who is flightless.  Might be a bear.

owls-of-haunted-holler-grizzly-owl-2

Drawn by Edgard.

owls-of-haunted-holler-grizzly-owl

Illustration by Kaleb Cutsinger whose work can be found here.

Howling Owling
Actually very quiet.  Named for the howls of those who encounter it.

owls-of-haunted-holler-howling-owling

Illustration by Kaleb Cutsinger whose work can be found here.

Tip Your Hat

If something can’t be said
Don’t say it.
If something must be said but can’t be said,
Tip your hat and tilt your head,
Pour it out, spray it,
Do whatever to display it.

False may just be optional,
Opt to be unstoppable,
And if it’s not impossible,
You’ve got better things to do.

Perfect Nonsense: 215 Illustrated Limericks

My first book is now available in print and on Kindle!  In fact, if you buy it in print you get the Kindle version for free.  It’s a collection of nonsense limericks playing off the illustrations of Edward Lear.  You can peek into the book on Amazon or scroll down this site to see some examples of what’s inside.  Enjoy!

Get the book on Amazon now.

Perfect Nonsense

Nonsense Limericks Illustrated by Edward Lear

juneau

There was an old person of Juneau,
Who dreamt of going where few go;
Straight into Night,
He fit in just right,
That noble old person of Juneau.

philly

There was an old person of Philly,
Who imbibed in a great deal of silly;
He hemmed and he hawed,
On impossible odds,
While trying to get back to Philly.

kew

There was an old lady of Kew,
Who searched high and wide for a clue;
When offered one,
She said, “You’re no fun!”
Which puzzled the people of Kew.

Five

Each one felt abandoned.
Their doubts were cruel and handsome.
They were each other’s fandom,
Thought the other was a grand one,
Were entirely in tandem,
But doomed by ruling Random.

The two went to and fro.
Round and round they’d go.
Down and down to woe.
Never found, oh no.

Right time, Wrong places.
Right place, Wrong times.

The two had unknown fans.
Three others found them grand.
The three were each alone,
Each sought them on their own
And thought themselves the only one.

Wrong times, Wrong places.

The three did not find the two,
Stayed lost without a clue,
Till they stumbled on into
A bumbling breakthrough
And, long overdue,
Joined each other as a crew.

Wrong Rights, Right Wrongs.

Nonsense Limericks Illustrated by Edward Lear

milano

There was an old man of Milano,
Who loudly yelped, “Help me out, pronto!
If not for this chair,
I’d be standing on air,
I must be tied down in Milano!”

jig

There was a young lady whose jig,
Was roundly despised by the pig;
But loved by the cow,
Who wished to know how,
She came up with that marvelous jig.

trussville

There was an old lady of Trussville,
Whose hat was widely known as distrustful;
She never knew,
But it secretly grew,
Till she was known as the hat of Trussville.