I bought myself a brother
So I’d finally have another
To chase and play and laugh all day –
A smelly, punkish fixer upper.

The seller (former brother)
Quickly proclaimed,
“He’s been good
But then twins came
And it’s understood
We don’t need more of the same.
So to you he goes!
He’ll lose every game!
There will be more toys
And he’s easy to blame!
As for our family,
It’s a real shame
But I’ve almost forgot
Old what’s-his-name.”

I bought myself a brother
To love and grow and keep,
And even more important –
He was very, very cheap.