If I were a real boy
I’d know just what to do:
Yelp, crash, fall, crawl, leap, root,
Lick, scoot, laugh, toot, romp, chew.

If I were a real boy
I’d be nothing new.
I wouldn’t be “who knows?”
I’d be “you know who.”

If I were a real boy
The world would think me askew.
They would think that I’m off,
That I’m red when I’m blue!

If I were a real boy
I’d get thrown in the zoo!
But I’d be okay there,
It’s where the real girls are too.