There’s a creature called the Sandman
Who’s never seen the Sun.
It deals in deepest dreams
For nothing more than fun.

Nightly knighted by the Moon
It seeks out sleeping eyes,
Slipping in a pinch of sand
To loose lordly life-like lies.

You might think you woke the wild
Or just a shambling brambly ramble.
Truth is it’s in the sand
And every speck’s a frightful gamble.

Every dream you’ve ever had
Started life among the worms,
And the Sandman found them all
On its own peculiar terms.

Sand from the Drowning Desert
Brings dreams of flying nude.
A little bit of kitty litter
And you’ll see colors come unglued.

Glimpses of the future
Can come from fallen stars.
Sand in webs will bring on terror
And rarely leaves its jars.

Some dreams connect to others,
Those grains are roughed up red.
The sand of unknown shores
Will leave you leaping out of bed.

The Sandman’s mostly dream now
(The best artists always are).
Enjoy its final gifts to you,
Its days of sand aren’t all that far.

There was an old man of Mosul,
Who wanted to go back to school;
They said, “You’re too old!”
He said, “So I’m told!
But I never learned to listen, Mosul!”

There was an old lady of Ottawa,
Whose daily routine was a lot o’ blah;
To give it some spice,
She fought tigers thrice,
That bored old lady of Ottawa.

There was an old man of October,
Who cried, “It’s over!  It’s over!”
It had only begun,
His cries were undone,
That alarmist old man of October.

Eye satte doun att tha taibl
Annd preyd, “Dere pome gaud, iph yo’r aybl,
Pleze healp mea wiht mai poming.
Mai eyz r blerd, mie thenkr’s romeing,
Llet mea sea tha tail, fyned theh wirds,
Sind tham two mee en hartfelt heards,
Folang frum teh thanking are
(Ai’ll taik credyt, bot bey shur tue shayr).
Ey nede sum halp, Ai knead et badd,
Y’ve ulmost oozed al thu wyrds Eye haad.
Aye liek thess wark, et’s kwite eksiting,
Ai’de jusst lyke ittt betor wethowt tho ri-“

Frown felt down…

So he pulled himself in
Leapt off the chin
And went for the grin!
But smiles can be miles
From any sort of worthwhiles.
A smirk didn’t work,
He just felt like a jerk.
He tried chubbed up cheeks
Livin’ life as a blowfish,
You might not even know this,
Your eyes can still run creeks…

Down frown hung…

Until he stuck out his tongue!

I pledge allegiance to the weird
Of all this oddball land,
And to the curious
For whom it stands,
Any creation under God, inderisible,
With hopeful possibility for all.

Rapini Tamari Crumb was a special kind of fool,
The kind that drapes himself in red and charges at a bull.

This tale’s about his turn as tormenter to the cruel,
The day he made a devil deal and didn’t end up fuel.

He called dear Devil up to make a most enticing sale,
“If I give up my holey sole, you’ll give me your tail.”

Our Devil knew without a soul that gumptious Crumb was through,
And that’s a deal that Devil takes all ten times out of two.

Crumb reached down (with terms confirmed), pulling off a well-worn shoe,
Now Devil limps collecting dues with balance all askew.

You are not alone.
And I don’t mean that a character is with you.
And I don’t mean I the writer am with you.
I mean you’re with this poem.

There was a young lady on Mars,
Who hauled up a whole sack of jars;
She filled them with dust,
Thought she’d sell it as rust,
That industrious young lady on Mars.

There was an old man of Brisbane,
Who carried a very sharp cane;
He poked and he popped,
He couldn’t be stopped,
That nasty old man of Brisbane.

There was a young lady whose blouse,
Was lived in by squirrels as a house;
They wouldn’t move out,
So she hauled them about,
That gracious young lady in a blouse.

Part I

The sea bit down with a crashing frown
On the strangest shore it ever found.
Where so many things had been left to drown
In a deep tooth mark torn in the ground
A life popped up this time around.

A group of men who’d never been
Beyond their town’s enchanting end
Scooped that baby up and grinned:
“What heroes we are!  We’ve done it again!
Raise the town poet, he’s ballads to pen!”

They left her alone at the coward’s home
‘Cause a strong YES means never a no.
He opened his door, cautious and slow,
With worry aswirl in his hum-drum dome
And gave her the most beautiful name of Woe.

Mind your rights and love your wrongs.
Whatever shore you’re stranded on,
Everything belongs.

Illustrated by Brittany

Part II

The coward hid from all that did
So he’d never have to give
An errant care, indeed he slid
Below life’s lowest bid.
He didn’t dare to live.

The heroic coots bought matching suits
So no one could forget
The deed they’d done.  Those loopy fruits
Dressed in tiger stripes from hat to boots
On weekly walks to make sure Woe was fit.

Their checks made clear he held Woe dear,
The coward found something rare.
A reason to steer straight into his fear,
For Woe awoke an ocean of cheer
And the strength to fight off a scare.

Mind your rights and love your wrongs.
Whatever shore you’re stranded on,
Everything belongs.

Part III

Woe was aware of the inspired care
That her coward could require.
He fled from mice, he feared the very air,
Few things weren’t a threat to his derriere.
It was an extreme you must admire.

Terror never tires, nor is quite so dire
As to demand unbearable despair.
When Woe needed her coward there
He showed up with the scaredest glare
For any deserving of his ire.

So when the worst stared square at the pair,
Woe and her coward held their heads higher,
For each one was exactly where
They needed to be in order to share
Whatever might transpire.

Mind your rights and love your wrongs.
Whatever shore you’re stranded on,
Everything belongs.

Part IV

The earth is slow but when it goes
All else will fall if it says so.
Woe was of the earth’s worst foe,
Now that it rose none could oppose,
Not coward, not Woe, not her hopeless heroes.

Once the end’s begun and won’t be won
Is quite the wrong time to become glum.
The coward and Woe watched the land undone,
With nowhere to go they could only run from,
But together they’d be, whatever might come.

The rocks gave a screech and the hills tried to reach
Past a coward, but just couldn’t catch
Them rabbiting down the final stretch
Of their town to where the lives of each
Were changed on that baby bearing beach.

Mind your rights and love your wrongs.
Whatever shore you’re stranded on,
Everything belongs.

Part V

The sea swept in with a smashing grin
To the strangest shore it ever spent
A drop of thought and then it went
And licked the coward and Woe up when
The earth split wide with wintry intent.

The sea took back Woe with coward in tow –
To leave one would be leaving the two.
Now they sail below the deepest blue
In a land lost to land long ago
That only the sunken sea beasts know.

The sea suits itself, from whimsied waves to buried roots,
The earth’s content as peaceful brute,
There’s not a thing to change about a heroic coot,
And that finely flawed father-daughter duo shoots
Through life in fearfully happy cahoots.

Mind your rights and love your wrongs.
Whatever shore you’re stranded on,
Everything belongs.

(Part I and Part II and Part III and Part IV)

The sea swept in with a smashing grin
To the strangest shore it ever spent
A drop of thought and then it went
And licked the coward and Woe up when
The earth split wide with wintry intent.

The sea took back Woe with coward in tow –
To leave one would be leaving the two.
Now they sail below the deepest blue
In a land lost to land long ago
That only the sunken sea beasts know.

The sea suits itself, from whimsied waves to buried roots,
The earth’s content as peaceful brute,
There’s not a thing to change about a heroic coot,
And that finely flawed father-daughter duo shoots
Through life in fearfully happy cahoots.

Mind your rights and love your wrongs.
Whatever shore you’re stranded on,
Everything belongs.