How to Be Taller

The secret to taller?
Step up to the altar.
I have the great honor
To serve as your scholar.

Stretching?  Why bother?
They say no more water,
Drink milk by the saucer,
Down mountains of cobbler,
You must believe harder!
Pray!  Yes!  And holler!

They’re naught but big talkers,
They’ve nothing to offer,
Those gibbering toddlers.
They’re goners as solvers.

My cure’s not a dollar.

The best way to be taller
Is find someone smaller.

Why, you’re just a bit shorter.
Let me make you an offer.