There’s never been a better letter
Than the Tommy screed.
As he was a true go-getter
He wrote it to ensure you’d read.
Onto his paper skin he scrawled
Everything he thinked.
His family was all appalled
As he was pickling in ink.
Tommo knew what he was doing,
Never acting on impulse.
While akin to skin tattooing,
He calls it penship with a pulse.
He licked himself into an envelope
And mailed himself third class.
Now he’s shipping on the hope
That he’ll get to you at last.
I don’t know what you said to him
But he must have a full reply.
The largest envelope will fit your limbs,
I’d better let you write.