Actually fond of kiwis. A common misconception. Rotten kiwis though. Brown and fuzzy on the inside too.
Builds its nest out of newly bloomed tulips. Its fortune follows that of the flower. The tulip craze of the early 1600s was the golden age for these birds. Their feathers are the shape of the tulip flower petals and they take on the colors of whatever their nest is made of so they may be difficult to discern in the nest. But the nest should be easy to spot and quite pretty.
Lays frozen eggs that are a gorgeous glacier blue with red flecks. When the eggs thaw, they hatch. Can remain frozen and unhatched for millennia. The chicks are born a very light blue color but as they grow they take on the darker blue of the glacier root that dives into the deep waters of the ocean.
While never seen on a pleasant day, they swarm wildfires, building their nests in the still warm, smoking branches of newly crisped trees. If you ever make a horrible mistake while playing with matches at least be sure to enjoy the presence of this unique wildlife.
Scavenges wasted time. You’ll never see one that’s skinny. To be honest, I feed them a lot. They should build a statue of me or at least put up a plaque. Name a nest after me?
Full of blueberries. All buttery with a crumble topping. Might just be a muffin. I’m so hungry.
Feeds on violin spiders: black widows, brown recluses, taupe misanthropes, etc. Has no musical talent whatsoever, detesting string instruments. However, it will bang around on a drum set if it finds one in your garage while on the hunt. The spider venom is absorbed and stored on the top of their bald head. Do not pet!
They scavenge despair. While they are truly hideous looking beasts with multiple cruelly curved beaks tearing their way out of their eyeless heads, we are lucky to have them. They have the most acidic stomach acid of any known creature, allowing them to process the anguish that many people can’t. They don’t care about you or your happiness but could save your life. Rejoice in them.
Drawn by Moon whose art can be found at @practise_for_art on Instagram.